Getting the kids settled for a meal is typically a production. I've realized - though I don't always put into practice - that it is most efficient to do things in an assembly line. Give each kid a serving of rice. Next, a serving of the entree. Then, the drinks. Pour water for each little one in their cups... And just as we're nearing the end of the conveyor belt, everything comes to a screeching halt. Why? Because almost as soon as I'm done pouring someone's drink, they knock it over. (and in all honesty, sometimes it's me!) This has got to be one of those small yet very frustrating moments for a mom like me for whom "efficiency and effectiveness" was drilled into the psyche as a business major in college. My viewfinder typically operates based on the parameters of "E&E"...
I ask myself, "What is the fastest way for me to get this done the right way?"
Hence the assembly line meal prep.
The spill scenario happened just the other day. Quite literally as soon as I poured my almost-2-year-old's water, she knocks it over and it spills all over the table. My sin nature response to this is to almost instantly get upset.
Well, of course, why not? This is just messing up the whole rotation...!
But God in all His goodness subtly intervenes in the background.
He knows exactly how my sin nature wants to react to the interruption and its inconvenience to the process. This was His teachable moment for me. This was a special moment in my day when He would speak to me right when I needed Him to... a moment that would evidence His constant presence in my life, in my days... the presence that faithfully nudges me along in this lifelong process of sanctification.
You see, I was playing worship music from my Chris Tomlin Pandora station at that time. And just as she had spilled the water and I was in the thick of building up my frustrated reaction, these lyrics float to my ears with divine timing:
"Everyone needs compassion.... A love that's never failing...Let mercy fall on me.... Everyone needs forgiveness..."
He was right there with me. And I looked at my baby girl and she said in her sweet, adorable almost-2-year-old way, "Sowwy Mommy". And God in all His compassion filled me with His compassion so that in that very moment, I would be the mother she needed me to be...and the mother God wants me to be.
"It's okay, baby...spills happen. I forgive you, I'm not mad at you."
Praise God for stepping in right when I needed Him to. It was all Him in that moment. He moved through me. He moved in me. The GOD of me used that moment to sanctify me so I can testify to the greatness of our God.
••••••••••••••
Thank you, Lord, for molding me on a daily basis. I know most of the time I'm either a saggy lump of clay or a hardened rock in need of a good soak in the streams of Your grace. But You are there. You give me so many chances to learn and practice what it means to be who You want me to be. And even though many times I fail to do what You have called me to do, I thank You for always looking upon me with love and compassion, not condemnation. I thank You for loving me just as I am, wherever I am.
YOU are the GOD of me. Help me to go where You lead and be who You called me to be. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
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Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Just The Way You Are.
[from my Parenting by Design devotion]
For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;
(1 Corinthians 1:26, 27 NKJV)
SHAMING THE WISE?
In today's culture, these words are tough teaching for parents! We long for our kids to be wise by human standards - just look at the emphasis we put on grades, test scores, and college acceptance as measures of success and worth. We revel in achievements that put them in positions of influence such as cheerleader, student government, or captain of a team. We may envy the opportunities available to other children due to their family's wealth or social position.
While God calls us to use our minds to make wise choices, no amount of human knowledge can replace Christ's work on the cross. Ironically, real strength and wisdom are found by surrendering our pride and coming to God in humility and weakness.
Teach your children that real strength comes by submitting to God and humbling yourself before others.
------
Thoughts from a Lady:
I fell into this mode of thinking from a young age. Growing up, I derived my own worth from and measured my success by my accomplishments. I cam to this realization as an adult and just recently. Reflecting on it has led me to see how that world-based thinking has influenced my perception of my children. Especially with my first child, I often felt a sense of competition with other children and parents - this was mostly due to my own insecurities as a first-time mother and never-perfect-enough-perfectionist. The Lord has shown me that I've been going about it ALL WRONG.
As I work with and wait on the Lord to help me heal from the disappointments of my own past failures and learn to live like a daughter of the King - loved and cherished unconditionally just the way I am, any way I am - I am learning to practice that same love with my children. I want to love them the way God loves me. I want them to know God's love because I've demonstrated the earthly version of it. I don't want them to submit to society's standards of worth and value as measured by their "accomplishments" and "contribution to the world". I want them to understand, believe and LIVE the truth that God loves them the way they are, that they are treasured by the King of Kings and that humility and submission to God are far greater accomplishments than that which earns the praise of man.
For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;
(1 Corinthians 1:26, 27 NKJV)
SHAMING THE WISE?
In today's culture, these words are tough teaching for parents! We long for our kids to be wise by human standards - just look at the emphasis we put on grades, test scores, and college acceptance as measures of success and worth. We revel in achievements that put them in positions of influence such as cheerleader, student government, or captain of a team. We may envy the opportunities available to other children due to their family's wealth or social position.
While God calls us to use our minds to make wise choices, no amount of human knowledge can replace Christ's work on the cross. Ironically, real strength and wisdom are found by surrendering our pride and coming to God in humility and weakness.
Teach your children that real strength comes by submitting to God and humbling yourself before others.
------
Thoughts from a Lady:
I fell into this mode of thinking from a young age. Growing up, I derived my own worth from and measured my success by my accomplishments. I cam to this realization as an adult and just recently. Reflecting on it has led me to see how that world-based thinking has influenced my perception of my children. Especially with my first child, I often felt a sense of competition with other children and parents - this was mostly due to my own insecurities as a first-time mother and never-perfect-enough-perfectionist. The Lord has shown me that I've been going about it ALL WRONG.
As I work with and wait on the Lord to help me heal from the disappointments of my own past failures and learn to live like a daughter of the King - loved and cherished unconditionally just the way I am, any way I am - I am learning to practice that same love with my children. I want to love them the way God loves me. I want them to know God's love because I've demonstrated the earthly version of it. I don't want them to submit to society's standards of worth and value as measured by their "accomplishments" and "contribution to the world". I want them to understand, believe and LIVE the truth that God loves them the way they are, that they are treasured by the King of Kings and that humility and submission to God are far greater accomplishments than that which earns the praise of man.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Marks of His Majesty.
Lately, the hubby and I have been praising God in our day to day conversations and interactions by saying, "GOD IS GOOD!"
The other night, as my eldest, Josiah, was helping me clear the dishwasher, he says:
"You know, I've always wanted a dog."
"Well, now you have one!" I answered.
And he looks at me and says: "GOD IS GOOD!" with a smile spread across his face.
My heart swelled with joy. I gave him a big hug and told him how happy that made me to hear him say that.
I know he knew it too.
The other night, as my eldest, Josiah, was helping me clear the dishwasher, he says:
"You know, I've always wanted a dog."
"Well, now you have one!" I answered.
And he looks at me and says: "GOD IS GOOD!" with a smile spread across his face.
My heart swelled with joy. I gave him a big hug and told him how happy that made me to hear him say that.
I know he knew it too.
Thank you, Lord, for the marks of Your majesty in our day to day lives. You are GOOD!!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Grace for Mommies.
I subscribe to a few blogs so lately I've been getting a handful of daily emails with devotional content. These give some perspective for my day and help me to open my heart to hear more clearly what God wants to speak into my life that day. And by His grace and goodness, He often times strings them all together with the same theme so that even in my most dense moments, it's hard not to notice what He wants me to focus on.
Today is one of those days.
God's apparent theme for me today is: GRACE.
Pastor Ed Underwood's blog post was about grace:
DISCIPLESHIP MINUTE: LIARS DON'T NEED GRACE
Proverbs 31 Ministries' daily devotion talked about grace:
GRACE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE GOOD
My Parenting by Design reading plan touched on grace:
EXTENDING GRACE (sorry, no link for this one)
GOD IS SO GOOD! I am so thankful for the way He uses these ministries and His word to speak His truth into my life, especially when He does it right when I really need it.
Here are some of the insights that hit home for me.
From Ed's post:
"You see, if we’re honest we know that every one of us needs a rescue from our sin. And, we must admit that if the rescue wasn’t free, we’d have no hope.
But if we lie to ourselves and others, we’ll decide that our sins are the ones that don’t need payment, that our shortcomings and pathologies are the ones God must have decided were okay. And then, the grace He gives to others upsets us."
From P31 Ministries:
"I looked for ways to lovingly reassure her. I held her hand. I let her see my pleasure in her through the expressions on my face. And I kept quiet when my nerves were begging me to do otherwise.
I did really well ... for a couple of hours.
And then I lost it. Completely.
I was so discouraged."
"But as I think back on it now, that part of it is grace too. I demonstrated the reason I can give grace is because I so desperately need it. I asked for forgiveness and decided to resist my own funk begging me to sit and wallow in my messy humanity.
I dusted myself off, and whispered, "God help me. Please, please help me."
And I took one more step towards the grace I so desperately want to demonstrate.
...
Remember, grace doesn't have to be perfect to be good."
From Parenting by Design:
Although we may understand them on an intellectual level, it can still be hard for us to accept God's grace. Often, we try to be "good enough" because we can't seem to separate our value from our performance.
...Once we have truly experienced the extent of God's grace,we can extend it to our children in a life-changing way. Knowing we are all sinners in need of grace, we can allow them to experience the consequences of their choices without condemning who they are as people.
Follow God's example of grace by offering unconditional love for the sinner while delivering consequences for the sin.
Thoughts from a Lady:
The past few days, my journey with the Lord has led me to a place of vulnerability. I've had to revisit the pain in my past in order to try to heal the wounds that I only covered up and never allowed God to truly close. So He's in the process of setting my feet and my heart in the right direction to allow me to experience His grace in such a real way and to live the promises in His Word the way He intended. Yet because of the fragility of my emotions at this point in time, He has been my encouragement with each step. He's been showing me that it's okay to stumble. It's okay to take a step back sometimes. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to try to be obedient. I have to take joy in the progress I have made. So even if I take 10 steps forward and 1 step back, I'm still making progress... I'm still moving forward. He's trying to break my perfectionist, overachiever mentality so that I can actually grow in His grace and not be held prisoner to my own criticism, self-condemnation and fear of not being good enough.
Today is one of those days.
God's apparent theme for me today is: GRACE.
Pastor Ed Underwood's blog post was about grace:
DISCIPLESHIP MINUTE: LIARS DON'T NEED GRACE
Proverbs 31 Ministries' daily devotion talked about grace:
GRACE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE GOOD
My Parenting by Design reading plan touched on grace:
EXTENDING GRACE (sorry, no link for this one)
GOD IS SO GOOD! I am so thankful for the way He uses these ministries and His word to speak His truth into my life, especially when He does it right when I really need it.
Here are some of the insights that hit home for me.
From Ed's post:
"You see, if we’re honest we know that every one of us needs a rescue from our sin. And, we must admit that if the rescue wasn’t free, we’d have no hope.
But if we lie to ourselves and others, we’ll decide that our sins are the ones that don’t need payment, that our shortcomings and pathologies are the ones God must have decided were okay. And then, the grace He gives to others upsets us."
I'm reminded here of God's grace offered and poured out upon me. I need just as much grace as the next person. We're all in the same boat, deserving of death and condemnation because of our sinful nature, yet undeserving recipients of the grace that flows through the blood of Jesus shed on the cross.
This gives me the right perspective to set out on the path of giving grace to others, especially my kids. I have to understand how much I need it before I can give it.
From P31 Ministries:
I related so strongly with this post. This is so me:
"I looked for ways to lovingly reassure her. I held her hand. I let her see my pleasure in her through the expressions on my face. And I kept quiet when my nerves were begging me to do otherwise.
I did really well ... for a couple of hours.
And then I lost it. Completely.
I was so discouraged."
This has been my exact process so many times... It has felt like a constant roller coaster.
But this is what the Lord really wanted to drive home for me today:
"But as I think back on it now, that part of it is grace too. I demonstrated the reason I can give grace is because I so desperately need it. I asked for forgiveness and decided to resist my own funk begging me to sit and wallow in my messy humanity.
I dusted myself off, and whispered, "God help me. Please, please help me."
And I took one more step towards the grace I so desperately want to demonstrate.
...
Remember, grace doesn't have to be perfect to be good."
From Parenting by Design:
Although we may understand them on an intellectual level, it can still be hard for us to accept God's grace. Often, we try to be "good enough" because we can't seem to separate our value from our performance.
Follow God's example of grace by offering unconditional love for the sinner while delivering consequences for the sin.
Thoughts from a Lady:
The past few days, my journey with the Lord has led me to a place of vulnerability. I've had to revisit the pain in my past in order to try to heal the wounds that I only covered up and never allowed God to truly close. So He's in the process of setting my feet and my heart in the right direction to allow me to experience His grace in such a real way and to live the promises in His Word the way He intended. Yet because of the fragility of my emotions at this point in time, He has been my encouragement with each step. He's been showing me that it's okay to stumble. It's okay to take a step back sometimes. I don't have to be perfect. I just have to try to be obedient. I have to take joy in the progress I have made. So even if I take 10 steps forward and 1 step back, I'm still making progress... I'm still moving forward. He's trying to break my perfectionist, overachiever mentality so that I can actually grow in His grace and not be held prisoner to my own criticism, self-condemnation and fear of not being good enough.
I believe that as God molds me into the mother He wants me to be and the mother my kids need me to be, I will learn to embrace the grace He gives so freely to me. As a result, it will flow freely through me and into my interactions with my kids. And just the other day, I came to the stark realization that all that my kids want from me is my unconditional love and my acceptance of who they are, no matter what that looks like.
"To be known is to be loved. To be loved is to be known. "
Monday, May 14, 2012
Godly Behavior.
Demonstrate it in my own life
And uphold its standards with kindness and love.
My kids will do what I say if what I say is what I do.
You, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach that a man should not steal, do you steal? You who say, Do not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? (Romans 2:21, 22 NKJV)
And uphold its standards with kindness and love.
My kids will do what I say if what I say is what I do.
You, therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself? You who preach that a man should not steal, do you steal? You who say, Do not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? (Romans 2:21, 22 NKJV)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Mold Me.
I wanted to share this on my Mommy blog because it happens to be the meditation from my daily calendar devotional that sits on my kitchen counter... for May 13th, 2012 - Mothers Day. And I found it so fitting for me and my journey with the Lord right now.
It's been on my heart heavily the last few months to focus on trying to discover and implement daily what it means to be the mother God wants me to be and that my kids need me to be.
It's been an oh so difficult and inconsistent path so far... I actually didn't think it was going to be this challenging to change what I know I need to. But I know the Lord is still working in me. His work is a work in progress and right now it seems to be going at a painstakingly slow pace, but he's teaching me to wait on Him and trust Him and His infinite power to work in me exceedingly abundantly above all that I could ask or think...
He's encouraging and reminding me again of what I have asked of Him over and over since the beginning of last year - to use me for His glory and make me into the woman He's called me to be.
And so, I've been reminded to trust Him; I'm reminded of who He is... my Potter, my Master... This reflection is what He so deeply planted in my heart last year and now I'm weathering the storms and trying to learn how to grow into the fruit bearing vessel He wants me to be: the vessel that I want to be so He can use me for His glory... especially in my primary ministry right now, which is in my home and especially with my family; in order to present Him with godly offspring and to be fruitful and multiply - not just numerically through physical reproduction, but by passing on my faith and guiding my children in theirs so that they can be further used for the glory of the only one, true God.
God is good. He speaks to our hearts right when we need Him to... we just have to be disciplined and obedient enough to listen, heed His instruction and trust Him to bring to pass His divine and perfect will.
Happy Mothers Day to all the Mommies out there! "The Lord bless you and keep you..." and may you always trust in God's power to make you into the woman He's called you to be!
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